One Strong Woman

The other day I was at MOPS talking to one girlfriend whom I have really come to admire. She is so caring, so open, so honest..... I really like her. This post may upset a few femenists that I have in my reading circle, but it really affected me so I wanted to post about it.

My friend was talking about her brother-in-law and how he did an amazing thing for his wife. I guess one of his wife's professors belittled her for insufficient answer in front of her entire lecture peers. According to my friend, the prof was really unneccessarily harsh. Her brother-in-law went into the school and defended his bride. Not in a mean way, but pretty much just explained that there is a better way to give critisism. I guess he even quoted scripture. I thought this was not only brave, but pretty darn amazing. I have always loved that song...'I'll be the man who will fight for your honor...' If you know it, I really like it. I thought about Dana, and I totally think he is amazing and he has stood up for me a few times, but in all honesty not very much. What my friend said next totally blew me out of the water. She said that most women today don't allow their husbands to their 'heros' or their 'warriors'. That we are too caught up in being 'equal' or 'strong', that we don't want to appear weak, and we want to set a good 'female example' for our kids. The problem with this is that men are hardwired to be heros and warriors and if we keep pushing them back they will never rise up when they need to. I am a firm believer in serving your spouse, your husband. Not to be walked all over, but to uplift them, give them strength by allowing them to be strong. So of course, I went home and asked Dana if he felt like I respected him and allowed him to be my hero. Without hesitation, he said no. That is really hard for me to share, but it's the truth. He said that he knows I love immensley and that I would do anything for me, but he hasn't 'earned' my respect. (which is nonsense- this man does more for me then anyone else has done for anyone).

I have always considered myself to be a strong woman. I work hard, I have strong opinions and believes, I love wholeheartedly, and (honestly) expect the best out of everyone- especially Dana. That can sometimes come across 'disrespectful', 'egotistical', 'arrogant', but I have never apologized for being strong. I was raised like that and believe that women can be tender and strong all at the same time.


After hearing Dana's answer it dawned on me that something has to change. He has to know that he is my warrior. My hero. So I asked him what I could do on a daily basis that would make him feel more respected. And his answer will surprise you ladies:

1. Greet him at the door with a hug and kiss when he returns from being out.
2. Get up and have breakfast with him.
3. Include him on parenting decisions, and allow him to make decisions too. Then support those decisions.
4. Listen to him, without freaking out.

Wow, that's all. Haven't I been doing that. Then I thought about it, and I really haven't been. I'm usually wrapped up with the kids when he gets home. Sleeping when he gets up (and too tired to move). I disagree with him alot over what to do with this kids, and when he shares how he feels about something I have been known to jump all over him about how he has no right to feel that way. I'm awful aren't I? No, because I had the courage to ask him what I could change and I am willing to change it. I want Dana to feel completely loved and respected. I want him to be my hero.

Off the Wagon so soon...

Recently I have been trying weight watchers to lose some of my maternity weight.... well.... my everything weight. As long as I can remember I have been self conscience about my body image. I have always been a bigger girl. Bigger thighs, bigger hips, bigger boobs.... bigger everything. It's not like I didn't work out in high school. I was on 3 soccer teams in the spring, summer and fall. And curled in the winter. Not to mention was always doing something on my feet. I have always huvered around 120 lbs. Then I went away one summer to a leadership came for 4 weeks. in that 4 weeks I gained 20 lbs. So now I am in grade 11 at 140 lbs. with most of my friends being 115 lbs. Not fun. Then after high school I got a desk job and gained and gained. Got pregnant and gained more... way more. I was well over the 200 lbs mark with both my pregnancy. Now I wish I weighed 160 lbs. Everyday, I am reminded of how over weight I am by my closet. The only thing to fit me is my maternity clothes. I tried squeezing into a pair of jeans that I wore when I was 4 months pregnant with Kynan..... still too tight. Jeans I wore just last year. Too tight. Pants from before Kynan... way too tight. All my shirts are either too tight, too stretched out, have stains from two babies who love to puke, or simply out of fashion. I have one sweater that fits and it is hidious. It is -26 degrees out right now and I still don't have a winter jacket that fits properly. I know this sounds depressing, but it is the pit of many of thoughts during the day. I beat myself up alot about it, but on the flip side- I have two beautiful babies who smile at me and love me unconditionally. I have a husband who seemingly doesn't notice I have gained over 100 lbs since we've met and only mentions it when I am complaining about it. I know one of these days I have to buckle down and deal with my weight, if not for myself then for those three important people. But someone please tell me how...... how do I face my inner demons. The inner food voices. The uncontrolable urges. I need to know your secrets.

Snow Day

While Ava was having a nap, Kynan and I bundled up and went to have some fun in the snow. Here are a few pictures from our adventure in the sub-zero temperatures. Pictures of our Christmas Tree Hunt are coming....

Today I Missed This...

This picture was taken a week after Ava was born at the research station in Summerland. I was taking pictures for the Summerland Royalty and got to snap this.... I love this photo.

I was driving to pick up a girlfriend today to go shopping with the kids, and the radio gave the report for the current weather. It was -18 degrees celcius...... -28 with the wind chill. Yikez! And Reginians say that this isn't even cold. January is their real winter. But they say today was a perfect day to get locked out of your car... or should I say van... and 'they' didn't say that, but that is what happened to me. Yup. I'm an idiot. Good thing Tiff was with me and was able to manage the kidlets while FREAKED out and got to call a tow truck. But I have to say that I am proud of myself. Not because I locked myself out of my van (did I mention I'm an idiot), but because despite that pretty stressful experience, I still came home and shovelled the walk for Dana. That's right folks.... I am woman of the year. Or at least half of the year because I got half way done before I felt like I was going to lose my hands to frost bite and went running inside... throwing the shovel in the nearest snowbank. But still, I bask in my glory!

Ladybug Haven

Do you remember this post? Well, I finally found the pictures to go with it. While nothing like winning the lotery came from this, we are settling into our new home and making lots of new friends. Maybe that was the hidden blessing.

Tagged

A friend of mine tagged me to do this challenge sorta speak so I thought I better do it seeming as she put a link on her blog to mine.... yikes. Here are the rules : Link to your tagger and post these rules on your blog. Share 5 facts about yourself on your blog (some random, some weird). Tag 5 people at the end of your post by leaving their names as well as links to their blogs and then let them know they are tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

5 Things You May Not Know About Me....

1. I LOVE Country music. I mean adore it... it is all I listen to. There is something about it that makes me focus on what is most important in life.

2. I really do care what other people think. I worry if I hurt peoples feelings, or get upset if I am not included in something. I am a people pleaser.

3. I would put my Christmas tree up in early November if I could. Dana has this tradition not to put any Xmas decorations up until after Dec 5th. I fond it so hard to follow because I LOVE Christmas and would start two months ahead if I could.

4. I get really frustrated when things are disorganized or a mess, even though I am not the best housekeeper. Seriously, I get very hard to live with if things are messy. Dana loves me dispite it.

5. I love to volunteer. I have always been involved as long as I could remember. I still remember in Grade 7 I asked the princable at my school if I could deliver a speech on citizenship at our year end closing ceremony. I am very much a goody tushoos.

Well, I guess that's it. I tag:

Jen, Christie, Trisha, Kelle, Wanda

She is 6 months!

I know I post alot about how fast Ava is growing, but it was 6 months yesterday and her babyhood thus far seems to be chasing by. In my mind, only yesterday I was on my balcony in Summerland saying a little prayer to the stars that this little bambino would hurry up and come. Little did I know that she was on her way. I was so excited to be experiencing birth naturally and with every contraction I got more and more excited. It was no where near as painful as Kynan, but equally magical. I still remember Carleen asking us if we wanted to know what it was. We were just so happy that she was here, we forgot to ask what the sex was. When she said it was a girl, I think I heard the angels sing. I had her in my arms. My beautiful Lily. Time chased away from that moments on and now she is singing her song in her exersaucer, laughing at Kynan and sucking her gums (her new trick). She fills my heart with joy everyday. I know that there is greatness in her. Some superior reason why she is here. I love her so incredibly much. It's hard to believe that I was scared I wouldn't love her as much as I love Kynan. Somehow your heart grows. Happy 6 month, Ava Lily. You are a great blessing.

Christmas Shopping

Please come take a look at my etsy shop. I have just listed lots of really special Christmas items. If you are interested in any of these.... email me smccallum21@gmail.com.

My Shop: Inspire2Create

Ava's Photo Shoot

Ava has this certain sweetness about her that takes my breathe away. As people lovingly adore her, she bats her beautiful lashes at them. She is calm admist the chaos and is always adoringly looking up to her brother. These photographs do not even capture a fraction of how utterly beautiful she is.

You are invited to stay in our newly designed guest bedroom. An oasis away from home. Am I luring any relatives out yet?!?!? (cough... Carleen)? Anywho, here are some long awaited before and after shots of the kids bedrooms, bathroom and of course the guest bedroom. More pics to come. The other rooms are not completely finished yet. Enjoy.





The Downstairs bedroom... after shot above.






This is Kynan's room before. You get a general idea of Ava's room too. Just picture blue shag in Kynans and orange shag in Avas.








The Bathroom... pretty drab.


















The bathroom after... pretty fab!














Kynan's room... can you tell by all the toys. Nice calming green with trucks on the wall and nice brown laminate.

Ava's pretty in pink. With butterflies that dance across her wall and butterfly curtains all done by me.

The kitchen doesn't have much further to go as well as the living room. And the basement is continous work in progress. More pictures to come as we complete. Now I ask, why wouldn't you come visit. Certainly it is not the decor, and the company is sure to take that Saskatchewan chill off.... so what are you waiting for???? LOL.

The STUPID Van...

So you want to hear about my day..... maybe you don't. All I have to say is that Dana owes me big time. What is normally his responsibility, I took under my wings today as my personal project. We have been trying to get our van passed the out of province inspection you need to get insurance. We had it inspected about a month ago and got the list of things to fix. It was pretty long and expensive so Dana did half the work himself. Today was the day I was going to bring it in, get the rest of the 'stuff' fixed, and then get it to pass inspection. Yay!!! Yup... no! When I got there I was told that we would have to pay for another inspection ($120) because 30 days has elapsed since the the previous one. We weren't told this of course. Fine, it has to be done. So I take 2 kids under three to the closest mall and attempt to kill 3.5 hours. We did some shopping, ate some lunch.... that only killed 2 hours. So we did some more shopping. I am pretty much done Ava's stocking, Abby's Birthday/ Christmas gift, and some of Dana. I even got some stuff for Lorelei. Yay me. Then we headed back to Canadian Tire to pick up the van and finally get some Saskatchewan insurance. That easy... again no. I got there and they told me that it needs more work, alot more work. So far we have sunk about $800 into the van, and the mechanic is telling me it needs another $800 worth of work... within the next 30 days... just before Christmas. By this time just as I am getting this news, Ava is screaming and Kynan is sprawled out on the shop floor saying he want to go home. I wanted to cry. I paid for the inspection, asked for my van, scooped up the kids, and left. On the way home, I called Dana- cried and vented. Put the kids down for a nap and now I am looking at our options.

I know that this has been pretty much a venting post, but I know we will get through this. We have always landed on our feet and something tells me we will this time too. I hate stress, so instead of dwelling on something I cannot help, I am wrapping the gifts I got. I love wrapping gifts. HAPPY TUESDAY.

Grateful For....

Dana and all oh his wonderfulness.
Kynan and his quirky personality and unconditional love.
Ava and the sweetness she brings to our lives... even sleepless nights.
All of our family who may not live down the street anymore, but are still very much apart of our lives.
Our home... undone as it is, it is slowly unfolding a charming little nest
MOPS... like I said before it has been a God sent
Conversations with old and new friends
Hearing your children laugh and play
Even sometimes hearing that reassuring cry
A vehicle that is my freedom most days to take the kids to new park... new discoveries
Low Fat Pudding- it's getting me through Weight Watchers
Ice Cream... always
Again.. my husband... who is working so hard on making our house a nest
Vaccums... yah for suction
The Sun... it has been shining so much even with the dropping temperature
The internet (thanks Joyce for mentioning it)... purely for the connection
And soooo much more.....

It Evoked an Emotion

When I say it evoked an emotion, I mean it really hit a cord. Tonight Dana and I watched the Michael Moore movie, Sicko. If you haven't seen it, I highly recommend it. It was very thought provoking. Thought provoking until he interviewed a woman who shared her story of when her 1 and half year old daughter ran a fever and we she brought her into emergency she was refused care because her insurer didn't cover the hospital she went to. Because of the delay in transfer, her daughter got worse and worse until she went into cardiac arrest and died. It made me think of the time that we rushed Kynan to the hospital with a fever at 4 am in June of 2006. He was hardly breathing and was burning up. We were admitted immediately and he was given the care he needed.... free of cost (outside the cost of our taxes and the medications they perscribed). But the point is that he was cared for, not refused, and in essence saved his life. I cried after hearing that story. It hit home a little to close. I am not sure what my views are on health care. To be honest I have never paid that much attention. But as a human being, a mom, a wife.... I would NEVER want to hold my dying child in my arms, helpless, because of something as insignificant as what hospital I was at. Just a thought.

Seeming as Dana already posted about what I was going to write about- my MOPS group. I need to think of something else.

First of all, isn't my husband a sweety. I love him so much. Just when I think all hope is lost he pulls something like that and...... totally redeems himself. OK, now I am talking like him :)

Secondly, my MOPS group has been a saving grace for me. I really feel like I connect with these ladies. I am not a third wheel or feel like I competing with a friendship that has been established for years. Alot of the ladies are new to Regina like me and are just starting to build their friendships. I am so thankful that it seems to be working out.

Thirdly, what I really want to talk about, photography. I have always loved taking pictures and have never really been that good. Until I got my SLR and now I occasionally get a good shot. I am hoping to enroll in some classes to improve my skill. One thing Dana said to me is that 'the difference between a professional and an ammature is the ability to ace a picture when it really counts'. I am not quite there... aka: far from. But slowly but surely. I am finding everyday I am pulling out my camera and playing with it. Playing with the white balance, the Aparture, the ISO, the shutter speed. All that. One thing that has been so informative has been Angella's Foto Fridays. Thanks so much girlie for doing that!

This was a really lamo post so sorry. Better luck tomorrow.

All because of me...

well this might be a strange post being that Susan is not writing it...ya thats right, it's all my fault. This is Dana (her husband) writing her post , it is all my fault that she is not posting tonight. You maybe asking yourself why, well she was posting her blog, i started making comments about her post or what to post about, and made some comments that i thought were funny and well they kind of peed her off, and now im in the dog house. We had a really nice talk after, and i apologized , she was so tired after our talk she forgot to post. I still felt so bad that i hacked her account and am at 1 am making her post for her.

she was going to post about mops, her church group. What id like to talk about is how happy she has been since she started going. we have only been in Regina, sk since august of this year, we have loved it but it has been really hard on Susan trying to make a whole new group of friends, having to look after two kids can be hard work and she needs "her" time to interact with people her own age. mops i have to say has been a blessing, all she can talk about is the great people she gets to hang out with and the conversations they have every week. The interaction i believe has been a saving grace for my wife, to everyone who goes to mops thank you so much for taking susan in as your own, she really is a wonderful woman, that is why i married her. You may never truly know how much it means to her to have great people like you in her life.trust me when i say this ,she talks about you all the time and is so exited for every week when she get to be around you all again.

I want to also mention our friend tiff that has been inviting susan to a "girls night", or as i like to call it susans happy hour. The first one she attended i was expecting her to go to a movie and be home by 9:30 tops. She was so exited that she was going out, she got all guseed up, and was out of the house early.(my wife is never early) i was watching a movie when i got the call at 11:pm saying that she would be home in an hour or so, 12PM... Well this might sound funny to some but i was really happy for her it meant that she was out having fun with people she liked and that put a smile on my face.

it's hard being away from our comfort zone, and it has been great to meet new people and how kind everyone has been to us in our new home. So thanks again to everyone that has opened there hearts to us it has meant the world.

well it is really late now...my work is done, and to my love, i love you so much, our new journey has just begone,its amazing how great the people are along the way and ohh were the journey will take us. to heaven and back again for infinity.

The Winner!!!

Well, thank you to everyone who delurked. I was so excited that my posts actually do get read. I wish I could make everyone a tote, but with Christmas approaching fast and furiously I don't have enough time. I am making some Christmas Gifts too. So ...... drum role please...... MEL you are the winner. Please email me your mailing address and favorite colours and I will mail you your custom made tote. smccallum21@gmail.com

CONGRATULATIONS!!!\

PS: Posting everyday is hard, I have a make up post coming your way as soon as Ava stops crying.

Toothy

Ava cut another tooth today. It pooked up right beside the last one. She has been extra cranky today and kind of difficult, but I guess I would be too with all that going on.

I was shopping in Walmart today and guess what I heard.... Christmas music. Can you believe it. In all honesty, I actually like it and found myself drifting over to the Christmas decorations and I have already bought a Christmas decoration from Canadian Tire yesterday... it was on sale... ok. I love Christmas. It is my favorite time of year. I can't wait to put up our tree, and decorations, wrapping gifts, baking cookies, ect..... I love it.

PSS: Why are you hearing from me so much... I am attempting the post every day in November challenge.

Dear Santa

So on Friday, the weekend fliers came and it seems as though preparation for Christmas has started as there were already some Christmas Catalogues. Dana gave Kynan the Toys R Us Catalogue to look at and needless to say it has been his favorite book to look at all weekend. Every morning he comes down and looks at it for at least 20 minutes. Not to mention the numerous other times it distracts him from playing and again he sits down and reads... or looks. The very first page he flips to is the above photo. It is the Imaginarium. Kynan is obsessed with it. Of course it is one of the most expensive thing in the catalogue. But you should see his attention to detail. "Look mom, a bridge. A mighty machine. A helicopter. A crane...." And it goes on. So Dana and I have 2 weeks before the sale ends I think we might be writting a letter to Santa.

Handprints on Your Heart

Today I was in church listening to Pastor Jerven talk about Neiamiah and the importance of Family. He talked about how family comes in many forms. Of course we have our birth family and the family we married into. We also have our community family and our church family. He also talked about our Christian family. He also talked about how being apart of our family we have to love and support each other. How we pray for one another, we are there for one another. He also talked about as Christians we are called up to act. To help out. One of my new friends, who I really am starting to admire, stood up and talked about her dad. She said her dad was from a small town where everyone knew each other. That he was the type of man that was always helpful, not just in the church but to everyone. She gave an example of one winter he shoveled snow off his neighbours roof in 40 below weather. Just a side note, he is 65 years old. And of course my friend, worried about her dad hurting himself, went to him and asked 'why?' 'why do YOU have to do it? why can't you let someone else help?' And his reply to her was ' Because I can.' It got me thinking about how people have helped me in the past. Who has touched my life. I envisioned my heart with little handprints all over it. my heart was covered. Dana and I have been so blessed with such amazing people in our lives. From bosses who were understanding to what we valued, to friends who have always been there for us, to family who always knows what to say or what to do, to complete stranger who quickly befriend us. Thinking back on it all, I feel those handprints on my heart. It also got me thinking about what I do to help. I use to love being involved as a kid. I was always volunteering for something. But since I have had kids I have slowed down and have not been that involved. In my old job that is why I enjoyed it so much. It was similar work to what I use to volunteer as, but I was being paid to be there. But helping out is act of unselfishness, and that sounds pretty selfish to me. Maybe not so selfish, I mean I was providing for my family, but it wasn't exactly what I had in mind. Lately, I have been having this feeling to really get involved. I thought it kind of funny the different mind set I have from some people. when I went to my doctor to talk to him about me possibly having post partum, I told him I was feeling alot better over the past few weeks and I think it is because I have been making an effort to get involved. I have pursuing groups in the church, I registered as a volunteer at YMCA, and at our local community centre. His response was that is great, but remember to take care of yourself. Which is great advice especially because I tend to put everyone else a head of myself (don't most moms). But on the same hand, being involved and 'helping' really fulfills me so in essence it serves my wellbeing. Our church is slowly starting to rebuild it's congregation and I really feel this is where God is calling me to work. The only thing is that I am not sure where to start. I know that God will lead me in the right direction, but please pray for me as I go out on my mission to serve. This post may not touch everyone, but I challenge you to think about the handprints on your heart. Really dwell on it and then think about how many handprints you have made. Just a thought.....

*** PSS: DELURKERS! Thanks for everyone who has delurked so far. I will keep the draw open until this Wednesday and do the draw first thing Thursday morning so if you want a chance to win, delurk before then :) ****

I Won!

Bloggy Momma did a delurking contest and offered one of her home made crafts as a prize. People commented on her blog if they read it and then she did a draw. Guess what!!! I won. I am so excited. I like the idea so much that I am going to steal it for myself. If you read my blog, delurk yourself and you could win.............................. a home made funkilicious tote bag. Picture to come! So delurk away readers....... here is to hoping I have more than 4 readers.

Happy Halloween

There was this house 3 doors down from us that had an amazing display. There were hidden people throughout the yard scaring the kids and then inside they created like a haunted house. It was in the paper here, and Kynan spent like 20 minutes checking it out. This picture sucks, but I didn't have my tripod.


Kynan's loot. Dana had a prep talk with Kynan in the morning telling him to be sure to have a nap because they are running all night. They went all around our neighbourhood and I am sure Dana would have gone to more houses, but the dragon got tired.

Dana created this pumpkin for Kynan. Can you tell what it is?.........Scooby Doo.

I started going to the MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) group through my church and yesterday they had a Halloween extravanganza. It was lots of fun. This is Kynan's new buddy, Isaiah.

The kids of the group with a few moms intermitten to keep the peace.

The gang before heading out. Ava was a mermaid. Kynan was a dragon/ dinosaur. And yay! No snow.

The Clan after carving pumpkins.


Kynan's was Scooby Doo's, Ava's the small white one. Dana is the 'Nightmare Before CHristmas' one, and mine is the big and plump one. Kynan kept trying to eat my pumpkins carrot nose. I finally had to get him some carrots and dip.

This is one of many photos. Kynan was in the mood to pose for pictures.

Ava's teething, can you tell?

Ava so proud of her pumpkin.

Pumpkin goop.

Kynan cleaning his pumpkin. I love Dana's face!