I just came home from a fabulous night out with the girls. I love fridays for this exact reason. Our Girls Nights are always so rejeuvinating and revitalizing. Tonight was just appies and a movie. We enjoyed good conversation over really good food. A new friend joined our table which was fabulous, and I am so enjoying getting to know her. I love these girls. I love woman in general. That may be a real riskay thing to post on the internet, but seriously, I find woman to be authentic and raw. We share intimate details about specific feminine issues openly with one another. We share frustrations we have with our spouses and in the same sentence gush over how much we can't live without them. We love connection so much that we linger at the table with our coats on just so we can talk one minute longer. I love it.
After dinner, we went to see a movie, "Morning Glory" with Rachael Adams. I haven't even seen a preview for this flick, and being that we don't have cable, I am pretty oblivious to most goings on in Hollywood. Well, I have to say I laughed through this entire movie and felt oddly connected to the main character. I have no idea why as she was a corporate woman climbing the tower of success with a dash of love interest. I think I felt a sense of longing. A longing for a little of her acknowledgment she received. Status, maybe? I am not sure, but maybe some other stay-at-moms or any woman for that matter can relate when I say sometimes I want be the one in the heels and mini-skirt running across the courtyard! As I write this I am wearing sport socks, stretch pants and a sweater. Typical attire for a mom at midnight. I think about my precious children tucked in bed, asleep, sweet sleep. I know that us moms should feel that we have the most important jobs in the world raising our babies and that our acknowlegments come from their smiles, their kisses, their handmade gifts. And trust me, when your daughter looks up at you and says she wants to be just like you, you feel like the most important person in the world AND a little overwhelmed by the sense of responsibility that brings. I DO love being a mom. It has brought me such joy and peace and confidence in myself. It has made me realise that I am so much more capable than what I think and my kids know it. I wonder though where this sense of urning comes from, and this sense that we are not 'good enough until' mentality comes from. As I perculated over these meandering thoughts (my attempt at sounding sophisiticated and intellegent, as I spell check away), the song that came over the radio was "In Christ Alone". Wow! Thank you Lord for that. To humble me and affirm me all at the same time. I realise that my worth does not come from the earthly status I recieve from a good paying job or even these little lives that I am shaping. Jobs will come and go and eventually evaporate, and these little lives are shaped by YOU through me, I am only the messenger, the assistant possibly. My worth comes from You. The one that "knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made." (Psalm 139:13). Another favorite verse, Jeremiah 29:11, "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and pray to me, and I will listen to you." He will listen to me? The creator of the universe will listen to me and the thoughts on my heart? How blessed am I? How blessed are we? That we humbled and affirmed by our Father's promises? Tonight, I leave you with the chorus to "In Christ Alone".
"In Christ alone I place my trust. And find my glory in the power of the cross. In every victory, let it be said of me, my source of strength, my source of hope is Christ alone."
Here you go Backstreet Boys fans, here is Brian Littrell's version of the song. LOL.
