A Time to Say Goodbye

Today I am thinking about saying goodbye to lots of things in my life.

Today I said goodbye to my parents as they were flying back home. It was sad to see them go as I know I will start to miss them in a few days, but at the same time it is nice to have our house back, and our routine in order. Right now Ava is sleeping and Kynan and I are about to have a bath together. Peace, ahhh.

I am trying to say goodbye to 'fat Susie', and turn a new page. This is the year for change and I am determined to lose some weight. I have started reading 'The Ultimate Weight Challenge', I am going back on weight watchers, and I am trying to get some tips from the show Biggest Loser. It is addicting. My self image, when I am not looking in the mirror, is great because I still feel like I am in high school.... skinny and energetic, except I can't do many sports because of my engorged 'ladies'. Do sport bras even come in an I cup? But the moment I look in the mirror I wonder who that person is. Is that really the Susie I know? And then I reach for a big bowl of ice cream to ease the pain of the reality. Sad I know, but this year I say goodbye to that behavior. I am determined to reprogram my mind to love my body.

I also want to say goodbye to fear and indecisiveness. For years now, I have been trying to figure out what to do with my life. What career to pursue or to pursue any. After Kynan was born I have always felt torn, to be a stay at home mom or follow some of my life long dreams. This year I decide to do both. I know I don't have to work, but I am going to focus some of my time following a life long dream of mine to become a motivational speaker. I am not sure what the means yet, but I will be working on that.

I am also saying goodbye to being a lazy mom and wife. I really want to take a more active roll in providing 'better' stimulus for Kynan and Ava. AKA: way less TV and more one on one time with mom. So often I get caught up in controlling 'the mess' that I forget why I am home to begin with. And as for being a better wife, I want to listen to Dana more and talk less. I want to show him in my actions how much I love and respect him. Because I do... very much.

So long fat, indecisiveness, laziness!

And in response to Kaili's post.... Things I am Lovin' Lately...

1) Kynan's new train set, he loves playing on it for hours and it is allowing me to get a few more winks of sleep.
2) This is going to sound bad, but I actually like that Ava has been feeling under the weather. For a girl who hated being held and snuggled, she has been wanting nothing but to be held and I am soaking up every minute of it. I love when she lays her head on my chest, sucks her thumb, and tries to sleep. Sweet sweet music to me. I also am loving her sleepy grins. She has been so sleepy lately, but you can tell she wants to play. I play peek-a-boo with her and she grins a sleepy grin. So cute.
3) Because our Christmas tree has been up since November, it pretty much is dead and losing alot of needles. So I am loving our electric sweeper. One quick shot and those pesky needles are gone.
4) Gift cards.... renos are back in action and a playroom and bathroom are forming in our basement. Dana and I love going to home depot and just dreaming about what will unfold when the projects are done.
5) Rubber maid totes. I am reorganising things as we move stuff around our basement and everything is going into labeled rubber maid totes. If only I had a label maker.... mmmm.
6) The half eaten birthday cake in the fridge. Ok, I know I said I want to lose weight but there is something about buttercream frosting that is too good to resist. Besides, Dr. Phil said that you should start slowly.... so I am.
7) Bedtime... I have been loving bedtime. Time to talk to Dana, recap the day and sink into a deep slumber. I have been taking full advantage of Ava's sleepiness and getting as much sleep as my kids will allow. Speaking of bed.... what am I doing here.... I'm off to have a bath with my son and then off to bed..... ahhhhh and it's only 1pm. LOL!