Story of Us

My 'born to be husband'. That is what I use to call Dana when we were in high school and I was pining to be his girlfriend. Dana and I met in the summer of 1998. We instantly had a connection, but remained just friends as I was dating someone else. After that relationship was blown out of the water... I was pretty heartbroken and turned to my friend for comfort. Dana was a knight in shining armer and quickly became one of my best friends. He listened as I cried and babbled on and on about the ex and never once complained. Even after several months of talking about how heart broken I was he still never complained, but spending all that time with him really started to open my eyes to what was right in front of me. I remember making a wish for my soul mate one really bad night (I had just found out that my ex had started dating... already). I made a wish for someone to love me completely and passionately. The next day I looked at Dana and almost felt a lightening bolt penetrate me. Well, from that moment on I was in love... secretly. Our movie dates, and ice cream binges always had a hidden meaning for me. I would imagine what our first kiss would be like. I told my girlfriend that I was going to marry Dana one day, that he was the one. Dana was oblivious to all of this. He had many girlfriends while we were friends and I would always smile and nod as he told me the going ons between them. I remember him telling me that he broke up with Jill Robbins, and I was so excited I almost peed myself. But then in the same breathe he said he thought he might be interested in Marisa Moore. Again, I kept my secret to myself. I was so anamored I still remember going to a church rally and I had cinnimon hearts in my jacket pocket. Dana reached in a grabbed a handful. This surely meant he loved me too??? (A side note, I still have that bag of cinnimon hearts... what can I say?). I finally got up enough courage to ask Dana out .... the conversation went a little like this:

"Hi Dana, how's it goin'?"

"Fine"

"Are you doin' anything or can we talk?"

"I can talk" (said a little hesitantly)

"Well, I was just thinking about us and I was .... ah.... thinkin..... that maybe we could take our relationship to the next level?" (I held my breathe and was thinking 'next level' what kind of stupid thing was that to say)

...... An awkward pause......

"Honestly Susie, I just want to be friends"

(the earth fell out from beneath me)

"Ya, well no problem. It was just an idea. I gotta go. Talk to you later."

When I got off the phone I was mortified. Heartbroken and so embarassed. But it didn't stop me from asking again. A few weeks later, after several get togethers with just him and I, we kissed. It was the best first kiss I have ever had and when I think it about today I still get butterflies. He literally took my breathe away that night. But after we pulled away from each other, me needing to know and analyse every detail asked, "What does this mean?"

Dana replied with, "Nothing, I still just want to be your friend" Was he not there for our earth shaking kiss just now???? Anyway, again mortified, I asked him drive me home immediately and ran up to my room and cried. Was I out of my mind, I could have sworn that we had chemistry and that he felt it too. I was very heartbroken and so embarressed.... again, I didn't talk to Dana for over a month. But by then we had grown really close and that month hurt because it was like living without your best friend. I finally decided to call him up, casually, and ask him to hang out. After that, I tried to put my feelings for him on the back burner, and just be his friend. It was working, but everytime I went home I knew how I felt and I couldn't pretend any longer. The next time we saw each other I was going to tell him I couldn't be around him anymore. I went over to his house to watch a movie, Kiss the Girls. Not very romantic, but we were buddies- not dating. We were lying watching the movie and I looked up at him (to gaze really), but he was looking at me!!!! My heart skipped a beat. "Why is he looking at me?" "Does he like me?" And before I could analyse it anymore, he kissed me. At first I melted into his warm comforting arms, but then I realised we had been here before and I couldn't take to be rejected again. I pulled away. I told him I was sorry, but I couldn't be a 'friend with benefits'. I wasn't like that and I liked him too much. That he had to choose, all of me or nothing. Because I couldn't be around him as friends anymore. At that moment he said something that I will never forget. It is the foundation of our marriage vows and is still a common phrase we say to each other. He said, "I want you for infinity". (sigh) I melted back into his arms and enjoyed snuggling with him for the rest of the movie. I was on a high for weeks, months, and maybe even still- after that perfect moment. I know this story is kind of cheesy, but I love telling it.

Dana and I have been together now since February 26th 2000- that was the night. We have been friends, best friends, for almost a decade. It's been the best 10 years of my life.