The very first emotion I had was dread, nervousness and sadness. When Dana and I were talking about moving, I put a smile on my face and told him I would support whatever decision he made. Secretly thinking that he would come back from la-la land and we would start looking in Summerland. But that never happened and I will be honest, his excitement, enthusiasm and positivity rubbed off on me.
So then came the excitement, after we bought our house I was so excited to get here and start the new chapter in our lives. I knew I was leaving some wonderful things (family, friends, community), but I anticipated what awaited us on our new journey.
Soon after arriving, I felt lonely. All of these cool and exciting new things happening to us and no one around, really, to share them with. *Side bar: Jen and Jordan have been great in welcoming us here and have really helped me ease into this change** But none the less I still felt lonely for my family, the people who know me the best.
As we started changing our house to what we envisioned, I began to feel excitement again. I love doing projects with Dana and we really do make a good team. Team McCallum bands together to conquer... dreams.
Miller came, more excitement. The familarity and comfort of a true blue friend was sooooo incredibly nice to have here for almost a week.
Miller leaving, sadness. Sadness for many reasons. The realisation that we are not on vacation and will not be returning to the beautiful paradise we once called home. Instead we are here, in a different kind of beauty, that will become our home.
Bought laminate, again excited about making our house a home.
Threw out my neck..... extreme pain and missing my mom immensley as her and my dad would totally take care of me and the kids. Watching Chitty Chitty Bang Bang and eating yummy long johns.
Which brings me to now, and my overall feelings on the subject. There are extremely hard days and moments I miss my whole family I want to cry, market tuesdays with my mom, my dads delicious bbq, emo walks with Carleen, Kaili & Jaia, Beanery visits to see Uncle Rob, sharing in the joy of Sha and Phil's new home, girly lunches with Margaret and Trish, and random, but awesome visits with Shane and Greg. Not to mention all the Great Grandparents, and my Aunts and Uncles that all lived within 40 minutes of us. Even just writing about these found memories brings tears to my eyes. But those things, as precious as they are, will always be apart of me. And when we go to visit, we will cherish them even more.
Now we have a new adventure, a mystery waiting to be unfolded. I fall in love with our new city everyday. And as I sit here waiting for Abby and Jen to come over, I know the promise of new friendships is in store for us. And most importantly, we have each other. And Kynan, Ava, Dana and I have never spent as much 'quality' time together as we have the last few weeks. Lots of visits to the Y and the library. Family dinners around the table with loads of laughter and giggles from Ava. And knowing in 9 months I do not 'have' to return to work only to have someone else raise my children. I have found a new found joy in my kids and everyday they unfold a new blessing to cherish. There are hard days, but we have also had some pretty amazing days.
So in answer to living outside your 'comfort zone', as we grow and expand as individuals, so does our comfort zone. And we have to keep growing and experiencing, otherwise, what are we living for?
Love goes out to my family and many thanks to them and their support, because this move has not only been hard on Dana and I, but more so on them. We love you so much.
5 comments:
There will be times that you are lonely, but then we are only a phone call away. We miss our visits with the kids. I was terribly upset that I could not just rush over to help you when you hurt your neck. That's the bad thing about being so far away from family. But we get through those trying times, grow and get stronger. We love you all and miss you all very much. Take care of yourself, X-mas is coming.
Expanding your comfort zone... I like that, it's true, and life is not all about staying in the same comfort zone forever. It is amazing things that seem so hard to begin with turn out to be the best plan for you in the long run and then you could not imagine things having turned out differently. I was lost when my family moved from Ladner to Penticton when I was 8; I missed my friends and my comfort zone, but I adapted and now I cannot imagine living anywhere else, and if I hadn't of moved, Greg, you, the family and all my friends would not be a part of my life today... which I cannot picture... I love you!! *hugs*
thanks for sharing your thoughts, Susie. I can't imagine how tough that must be. I think that you are doing really well and it sounds like you are one tough cookie!!
Susie, I so enjoyed meeting you tonight. You are such a delight. I look forward to getting together with you more. You are on an adventure, and things are so different for you. But like you said this experience has brought you and Dana closer together. Also you expressed how nice it was that Dana is home more to spend time with the kids. It's okay to miss family. I have been in your shoes a time or two in my life. What I found amazing, is that God brought people into our lives to help us through the lonely times. ( they became extended family). I know this will happen for you too. I am glad you are here. I look forward to meeting the rest of your family and would like you to meet the rest of mine. Don't be scared, they really are not that bad.Heehee.
Great reflections, Susie. This post will be good for you to look back on a year from now and see how much you've grown and settled into your new home. You are a brave family and I know you'll find your way there.
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