Wednesday, July 23, 2008

4'n'1

1. I sometimes find blogging truly exhausting. Sometimes I don't have the energy to post something, I am afraid of posting what I really think in fear of the back lash from it, and more often than not I am afraid of being mis-interpeted of what I am trying to say. This happens alot. But I have come to realise that those who know me and know my heart, know what I am trying to say and know my intentions and for those who don't, this blog is an opportunity for me to open up and them to get to know me more. I also find this blog very much an emotional reliever. Sometimes it causes stress, but most of the time I can be who I am on this blog. Say what I want to say, and share what I want to share. So for now, I think I will continue on this blogger voyage.

2. We are house sitting for the next two weeks, which has been an incredible blessing. It feels so nice to have our own space. The kids and I are in a routine again and we are enjoying the family time we get. The house doesn't have cable, so we are finding other ways to amuse ourselves, which is so much fun. But as I am not near my computer and don't have a card reader, my posts will be pictureless. Sorry.

3. My work is going really well and for the first time in a long time, I feel on my game again. For those of you who are thinking, what work? I am working part-time at night for my former employer, SADI. Mainly supervising events. For instance, tonight I am taking some youth to Kelowna to shop. I know, my job is hard. My main work; however, is a contract with a provincial non-profit organization that works with communities across BC with positive youth development and youth engagement. I love it. I never thought I really offered much expertise in this area, but I am being proved wrong every week by the work I am doing. It feels really good to be contributing this way and I can see the work that I am doing is actually making a difference in the world. I have struggled lots with purpose in my life, and even though I still do, it feels good to find a niche.

4. For those of you who know us, know that we have struggled since moving back to Summerland. We miss those prairies so bad. Prairie scenery, prairie cities, prairie people. So much so that we even considered moving back. For the last month I would say, we have been looking on MLS and job search websites seeing if it is even possible. But with all this happening, I was unsure if it was what I really wanted. Last night we had a wonderful conversation with my inlaws (the ones who will be building for us) and we let it all out. No stone was left unturned. All emotions were brought forward and for the first time, possibly ever, I felt like they saw who I truly am. It made us feel alot more relaxed and some of those feelings of being unsettles, unwanted, not belonging faded a little. Do we still miss Regina, of course. But now I look at it as it was a beautiful blessing for Dana and I to experience. We walked away stronger in our faith and with priceless friends. Nothing will ever change that. But now, we are home. And we look forward to the blessings that the Lord will bestow us and what we can bestow on others.

Well, there you have it. Your deluxe 4'n'1 post. Now I gotta go push my son on the tire swing as he has been patiently waiting for me. Such a good boy.

3 comments:

Bloggy Mama said...

#4 -yahoo!!! Blessings, Susie.

Tiffany said...

well Susie a comment on the first post it's okay to be yourself and write what you want. You are an amazing person don't forget that. I am glad things are getting better. We are praying for you

Sue said...

Do people ever truly say what is on their minds? I don't think so.

We've been conditioned to take other peoples feelings into account and "give up" part of us to please others. It happens every day.

I agree that we as humans need to help and serve others in times of need yet at what cost. Losing ourselves in the meantime? I feel it is truly a balancing act to be there for others and stay true to yourself. We humans are a fickle thing.

Hope you're staying true to you and doing things for you that make your heart sing!