Since moving back to sunny Summerland, I have been feeling a little lost. Don't get me wrong. It is wonderful to be back in throws of family again. Seeing my niece and nephew play with their cousins. Going for walks with Baba. Sewing with Grandma. Family dinners. Birthday parties. Even weddings. But still this feeling creeps up. Especially when I want to go to the park and go to call Teena to come out with her kids too. Or when I just need a break and want to connect with Tiff and Kelle for a girls night. Go for dinner with Shauna. Go to Tots Cafe with Tara. And have an amazing conversation with all the ladies at MOPS. All of these people were such an 'everyday' part of my life, I feel a little lost without them.
Never before have I had such wonderful girlfriends who saw me for me. I wasn't "Dana's wife" or "Kynan's mom", a daughter or an in law. I was Susie and I was a friend. They really embraced me for who I am and allowed me to share my uniqueness. It has always been my hope that the people I encounter see what's in my heart. I wear it on my sleeve for all to see. I share it. And because I share it, I get hurt easily. When I am not included in something, or not appreciated for my talents, or simply just misunderstood. It hurts me.
I don't share this because of a specific event or person. I share this because my Regina connection was such a love tank filler and quite frankly I am feeling a little empty. It has been an adjustment moving back. Much harder than I have ever imagined. It's different here, the town is different, people are different, but more so I am different.
My prayer tonight is that we didn't make a mistake. That God will use this decision to better us as people and touch the lives of those around us. My prayer is that I will find what I am looking for. And that I will appreciate what I have. Please pray and give thanks with me.
4 comments:
done. Amen.
Aw Susie. I know those feelings all too well. Hang in there. The first few months are the hardest.
I understand what you're saying and I send "hugs" your way. Thank you for sharing.
All to often we as people go thru life not realizing what it is that "we" need, I think you've realized what also makes your heart sing and nurtures your soul.
I hope that you find it in Summerland too!
I know what you mean...I thought that moving "home" would be instantly homey, but it is still taking quite an adjustment. I too am not me, I am someones daughter, sister, niece. It is easier to slip through the cracks and I still haven't found a close friend. Take care, you'll find your new groove and fit in again.
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