On My Mind...

So many things on my mind lately, but this is sticking out tonight. Why blog???? I get caught up in the stress of it all. I haven't posted any real photo's in a long time, I really should do that. What did that person mean by that comment or post? And the list of all the other insecurities I have in the blogger realm. I have even thought about following suit with Kaili's latest news and stop blogging or invite only certain readers, but then I think about what my blog does for me. Truth be known, I sometimes don't even think about who is reading this thing, or of anybody does. I sometimes log in and just write. I love to journal and this is a way for me to "let it all out". I have been stung for my honesty and had some stuff that I have said on this blog come back to bite me in the tush. But I have also had this amazing emails and comments from people I don't even know in the real world saying that they love my honesty and can relate alot to what I have to say. That blows my mind, that a) someone actually reads my blog and b) they appreciate what I have to say. I feel like God create's purpose in everything and what if my purpose was tied up in this blog. What if I was to say something on it that would change, help, encourage, inspire, or whatever.... someone else. Isn't then it all worth it???? That is a question that has been going through my mind as of late.

The other thing plagueing my mind is how to respond to people saying "WHAT?!?!? You're moving???". Usually said in an obnoxious tone of voice as if accusing us for being irresponsible. Alot of these people we don't even talk to on a regular basis. And I get that it is shocking to many. After all, we just moved back. I usually say something untrue like, "What can I say we're crazy. Slow. Can't make up our mind." and then awkwardly laugh. But what I really want to say is that we are finally following our hearts rather than a buck, an opinion, or whatever else prompts us to make life decisions. I feel so good about this move and I am so excited to be returning to a place that has come to feel like home to me. We finally feel like we are on God's path and it feel fabulous. Again, I get that it appears that Dana and I are flaky or wish-washy. I get that some people would say that we haven't given it enough time. And I get that there are hurt feelings, but what I don't get is that when someone says to you that they are just following their hearts, doing what they feel is right for them. They can't explain it, but it just feels right. How can they argue with that???? Wouldn't you want to respond with love and compassion? Encouragement and support???? Don't they get that it is hard on us too, after all we are the ones living it????? Arggggg...... Sorry for the vent, but that is what I have been feeling lately. Raw and out there for the world to see.

I am excited about this decision and I feel like Dana and I walking towards something great. I feel like we are fulfilling a destiny. I don't know why I feel this way and way I didn't feel that way about Summerland. But all I can say is that it is what lies in my heart. We are certain. We are at peace and ever so faithful that God will lead us to where we are suppose to be.