Friendship

I absolutely love my daughter. She shows me everyday what it means to be a good friend and embrace in the little things. She is truly generous by nature. Every chance she gets she is giving something to someone, whether it is a necklace she made, a toy that she thinks they would like, or a drawing she worked all afternoon on. Sometimes we are called to teach our children and model good character, but there are times I think children surpass the teacher and end up teaching us more than we could ever imagine. Not all days are filled with peace and joy, but more and more I am learning to embrace my sacred role as mother- it is a privilege.

My Prayer for Today

I have a confession to make which seems only more appropriate to make as we are leading into Easter, and our thoughts should be reflecting on Forgiveness and well.... Jesus. Some confess Him to be Lord, others rebuke the even thought of Him, while others remain indifferent. I know Him to be many things in my life, one of them being my friend. I talk to Him throughout the day, asking Him to give me strength for the day, patience with my kids, understanding towards my husband, and grace towards others. I plead with Him at times and ask him hard questions like, "why". I also get angry when I feel as though He has not lived up to His end of our relationship. You know, those unanswered prayers that have you wondering if He even cares. For lent, we have set up a little prayer corner in our already very small trailer, but I felt we needed a visual reminder to slow down our day and take time to reflect, pray, give thanks, forgive. But, I have not been a very good friend to my savior. I don't think I have sat in that corner more than 5 times in the last 20 days. I have called out to Him many times over the last few weeks, but rarely have taken the time to hear what He had to say back. I rarely sit in stillness, silence or even pause to reflect on what I have lamented to Him. He may know every whisper in my heart, but I have not offered Him that same attentiveness. Last night, I even flipped through my bible as I was watching a show thinking.... I don't know what I was thinking. Maybe I would find wisdom through osmosis.



Lord, I am sorry. Please forgive me. I am so thankful I have a heavenly Father who loves me so much that He sent His only son for me. Break my heart for what breaks yours. Hold me to your bossom and shelter me from every evil thing. Fill our home with your presence and remind us to find joy in the little things today and always. Teach us to embrace each other in kindness and gentleness. To love. Thank you for the mud puddles in our lives and thank you for showing me that joy even exists in the mud. You are so wise and you know the plans you have for me. Amen.



Psalm 103
Praise the Lord, O my soul;
all my inmost being, praise his holy name.
Praise the Lord, O my soul,
and forget not all his benefits-
who forgives all your sins
and heals all your diseases,
who redeems your life from the pit
and crowns you with love and compassion,
who satisfies all your desires with good things
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.

The Lord works righteousness
and justice for all oppressed.
He made known His ways to Moses,
his deeds to the people of Isreal:
The Lord is compassionate and gracious,
slow to anger, abounding in love.
He will not always accuse,
nor will he harbor his anger forever;
he does not treat as our sins deserve
or repay us according to our iniquities.
For high as the heavens are above the earth,
so great is his love for those who fear him;
as far as the east is from the west,
so far has he removed our transgressions from us.
As a father has compassion on his children,
so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him;
for he knows how we are formed,
he remembers that we are dust.
As for man, his days are like grass,
he flourishes like a flower of the field;
the wind blows over it and it is gone,
and its place it remembers it no more.
But from the everlasting to everlasting
the Lord's love is with those who fear him,
and his righteousness with their children's children-
with those who keep his covenant
and remember to obey his precepts.
The Lord has established his throne in heaven,
and his kingdom rules over all.
Praise the Lord, you his angels
you mighty ones who do his bidding,
who obey his word.
Praise the Lord, all his heavenly hosts,
you his servants who do his will.
Praise the Lord, all his works
everywhere in his dominion.
Praise the Lord, O my soul.

Cookies in the Kitchen?

Ever since we have gone paleo, I have not done a ton of baking outside of our treat Good Morning Muffins, which I only make maybe once a week. Other than that there is no baking in the house. Well, today this kids were outside playing in the freshly fallen snow and I remembered when I would make chocolate chip cookies and hot cocoa for my kids on days like these. It made me sad to think that I couldn't do that anymore. So I went online to see if we could find a recipe that was paleo and delicious. And this is what I came up with.... Enjoy this recipe from Paeo Gal.

Mixing the ingredients....


Forming the cookies...




The final product, a little crumbly, but Ava (still rosy cheeked from playing outside) gives it thumbs up. She doesn't even know there is no sugar in it.

Gone Paleo

It has been awhile since I posted and there has been alot of changes in the McCallum household, but today I am only updating on one of those things and that is... we've gone paleo.

At first when I heard of Paleo Diet from my mother-in-law, I thought it was just another one of those things that she was trying to get fit, but when I realized that it has been almost a year and she is still going- I had to take a second look. Not to mention that she has dropped something like 10 dress sizes in 10 months! Something worth looking into, right? On our trip back to BC this Christmas was a perfect opportunity for me to see it in action at Carleen's house and ask as many questions as I like. Of course, Carleen didn't change her diet for us. She served what her and Al would normally eat and within the first few days the first thing I noticed was Ava's whole domineer had changed. She was calm, collected, and.... sweet! Not that she is not sweet, but we have been working with her for what seems forever on her melt downs and controlling her emotions. She started to turn the corner last spring, but at Baba's house she showed a whole other level of calm. It was so nice. That already sold me on it, but after discussing it with Dana about all of our digestive issues and of course Kynan's dairy intolerance, we thought what is to lose? SO we went for it.


{Fruit Salad Breakfast and Elijah helping by cheering me on}

What is Paleo? I really don't want to go into details, but basically we don't eat refined sugars, grains, legumes, or dairy. Which seems restrictive, but with some awesome recipes from Everyday Paleo, and Paleo Comfort Foods, we really feel like we are not missing much. Not to mention how good we feel, how much less we are are craving sweets, and how little the kids are 'snacking' on not so good foods. It is a little more pricey way of providing nourishment to your family with the increase of meats, protein and fresh produce, but in the money we are saving by not doing any McDonalds runs or eating out as much as we use to, I feel like it balances out. The other, somewhat negative thing, is that it does take prep. I was usually one of those throw something together kind of gals, but with paleo you do have to be more planned and organised than that. However, what it has provided is an opportunity for the kids to be more involved in the kitchen, they learn about different foods, and they even have started helping with the clean up (Ava did the dishes this morning). So it is a little more work, but the rewards far out way that. If you want more detailed information about Paleo you could visit Robb Wolff's site here. It has a ton of great information.


{Cucumber Tuna Boats for lunch. Kynan, the 'tuna fan' is excited!}

So all in all, we are enjoying the journey. I crave sugars less, have little or none digestive issues after eating, and have even noticed my tummy starting to trim down (and it has only been three weeks)! I don't weigh myself because that's just depressing AND a totally inaccurate way of determining success. We are basing it on feeling and behavouirs and we couldn't be more happy with the results.


{Our Paleo fridge. Stocked with fresh fruits and veggies, sliced chicken, lots and lots of farm fresh eggs!}


{Our Paleo Pantry! When we got back from BC, I rid our cupboards and pantry of anything non-paleo so I would not be tempted to jump off the band wagon. So now we have jars (excellent storage containers) of dried fruits, nuts, coconut flour, arrowroot flour, gluten free baking soda and baking powder, ect.)

So my next big plunge is work out. At this moments, I really do nothing outside of running after the kids and regular family activities (walks, biking, swimming, ect.) So in Feb (So like 4 days), I am starting a basic at home work out routine at home 3 times a week. I've been looking into Moose Jaw Cross Fit, but right now it really isn't in the budget of a starving student family ;)

That's it for now. I am hoping to get on again soon and post about our other new adventure, home schooling!!! Who new I would end up as one of 'those' moms. LOL!

Exactly Where We Are Suppose to Be

There has been a lot of things happen since my last post and I apologize to my very few readers for not being more diligent and updating more. Things at the Port are finally feeling more settled. Honestly, it felt like a long hard summer that was extremely lonely as I didn't know many people and Dana was hardly around. When fall came, so did a sense of routine, new people, and blossoming friendships for both the kids and myself. Dana has been like a little kid, filled with eagerness to learn and excitement for his new environment. I am so thankful that he is feeling settled and motivated in his new adventure. As for myself, it feels like after a very restful summer "off" of activities, I have been launched into a little bit of a whirl wind of new ideas, a growing business, and establishing friendships; all of which have been very positive. God has been so faithful in providing new positive friendships in my life. A fellow photographer and now gym buddy, has been more than an answer to prayer; she has been a life line this summer. Preventing me from shutting out the world. Another mom, who shares similar values and parenting style, has also been a wonderful breath of fresh air and her children have offered a great new companion for Ava. Of course, every day, other relationships are being nurtured and established and I am really starting to feel at home here. Another exciting thing has been the growth of my photography business, which has more than quadrupled since last year. I have been busy with family, maternity, baby sessions, and (new to me this summer) weddings. I have loved every minute of it and I truly owe it all to Dana for pushing me and encouraging me to chase after something I have wanted for a long time. Another new, exciting and challenging, event on our horizon is the prospect of Homeschooling Kynan. This is something that was laid on my heart last winter. Something that I felt at the time, I was not capable of nor did I want to attempt it. But the more and more we ponder this option for our family the more excited we feel about. Every family is different, and this may be just right for ours. We are still considering all the possibilities, and hope to make a decision by December. So yes, alot. But also it all feels normal family stuff. On top of it all, I feel that we are doing and where exactly where we need to be. That this is what God had planned for us all along. I see purpose in everything we are doing, and am so grateful that God has been with us every step of the way. We are suppose to be challenged and stretched. That is when we learn to depend more deeply on the one who created us. For strength, encouragement and wisdom. I find myself encouraged and inspired here. I am doing things that I never felt I could or had the energy for. I am working out, eating healthier (still not great, but better than before), I launched my wedding photography business this summer with huge success, Iam reaching out to the community, I am reading my bible daily, I am looking into Homeschooling, I am more patient with my kids and enjoy them more than ever before, I LOVE being Dana's wife and all that I am blessed to serve him, and ultimately I feel closer to God than I have ever felt before. I still have a long way to go. After all, we are all works in progress, but I am so thankful that God designed Caronport to be one of our stops on our journey. We are exactly where we are suppose to be.

One thing I have really enjoyed about living in Caronport, is the sudden repreive I have from all my commitments. We have nothing on our calendar except a few visits from family and to go see some friends. That's it! No where to run off to. Nothing I HAVE to do. Our days are so relaxed and the kids are seeming to enjoy this break in schedule. Our days usually consist of getting up, eating breakfast, playing outside, having picnic lunches, reading in the afternoon's, enjoying the garden, going for walks to the corner store, friends, enjoyment.....peace. I mean, there are some crazy days like today where I wake up to everything out of the cupboards and on my living room floor because I slept 10 minutes longer than I should have and the kids thought they would feed themselves. Or the black marker that is on my computer screen because I though Elijah was playing with Ava in her room when I was doing a load of laundry. I thought wrong obviously. I am hoping by confessing this, I am not thought of as a bad mother, but rather an imperfect mother who is doing her best to live in the moment and rejoice in the day we are given. Moving is always an adjustment. New friendships take time to form. There is always the beginning awkwardness that takes time to fade away. It's exhausting starting from scratch and to continually put yourself out there and be vulnerable to what people may think of you or perceive you. But isn't it worth it, considering what you might gain? That person may be that long lost friend that will end up being a life time friend. Or maybe they will impart wisdom or speak truth into your life? Maybe they will give a much needed wake up call and replant your path in life? Who knows, right? In talking to a new (possibly great) friend last week, I realized that I am an "all in" kind of person. Right out of the gate, I throw in all my chips, I open up, and I hope that I connect. I wear everything on my sleeve. My emotions, my past, my thoughts, my passions, EVERYTHING. I also tend to be a little uncensored because of this. Which sometimes people consider it a fault that I say the wrong thing, or share too much, but I choose to believe that this makes me human and imperfect. Someone who is yurning to improve and grow and gain wisdom, but recognizes that I am weak and insecure and possibly naive. I love how moving out here as put all this in perspective for me and allowed me to truly embrace... me. I feel free to be who I am and what I want to be, without fear of judgement or being cast out. Cast out from where? I haven't even been 'cast in' yet. So there is this sense of freedom here. Peace.

God Does Answer Prayers

I am always amazed how God answers our prayers. It seems so perfect at times, and at others it seems just in the nick of time. Dana and I did put alot on the line when we decided to move to Caronport in following God's call on our lives. Nothing grand comes without sacrafice. We all sacrafice something; whether it be time, money, friends, ect... It seems like over the last 4 years Dana and I have been "sacraficing" alot! But I look at where it has taken us, and am amazed how God knew what was best for us all along.

I grew up in a small town and loved every minute of it. I loved how friendly people were, that you could take over an hour walking to town because you were bound to run into people you knew who wanted to chat, that you could walk to the grocery store. I loved that I knew everyone in my school in all the grades, most of them by name. I loved that I married my high school sweet heart, and I love that my children walked the same streets as I did growing up. I imagined my kids going to the same school I did, having some of the same teachers, finding the same secret quiet spaces (mine was the rock that looked over the creek behind the stone church). But things change, people change and dreams change. I found that after I got married and started a family, I looked at that same lovable community differently. I didn't have many "mom" friends that I could share life with, money was always a stress living where we did, and somewhere along the line I felt like I lost "my" community. So naturally when the opportunity came up to move Saskatchewan, it intrigued me. However, I still held to my little community scared of letting it go and all that it had meant to me. Not to mention that both Dana and I's family's lived in there too and I had imagined our children growing up with Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles and Cousins as neighbors. Real 'Little House on the Prairie' kind of stuff. But on faith and hope we moved half way across Canada to the real prairie. That move changed our lives. We didn't know it then, but God was working in us and grooming us for the road that lies ahead.

Saskatchewan proved to be the most challenging, scary, loving, rewarding things we have ever done. We walked away from a brand new house, filled with all brand new things, into a two bed room apartment in a not so good area of town. Not to mention how much stuff we got rid of to fit it all in. We still held on to the possibility of our lot selling and being able to own a home, so we had rented storage for much of our bigger processions. Feeling like we were working a little backwards, and the unknown future, there were many times we doubted our decision. But something always held us here. As if God was saying, hold in tight, I have something for you, just not yet. Several months after being in this small home, my dear friend's hubby (they lived in the same building) said that he had a knife pulled on him in the parking lot so not to go out walking at night by myself like I had been. Now he was fine and made it more comical then I sure it was, but I remember being terrified and marching home immediately to tell Dana we are moving and that was it. But we couldn't afford much, our lot hadn't sold so we didn't think we could buy, but after months of looking it felt like there was no other option. So we had made an appointment with the bank to see what we could afford. Well, months prior we had applied for the Family Co-op which provided beautiful family town houses in a great area of town for subsidized rent but because we hadn't heard back we assumed there was no way we would get in. But guess who called when we were in the office with mortgage specialist? The Co-op! She told us they had a town house available in just a few weeks and they wanted to know if we wanted it. The amazing thing is that there is a wait list a mile long to get into this place, that's why we thought it was impossible. But she told us we were the last on her list, and she had called everyone else and they all told her that it was not a good time for them to move! In MAY! That is undeniably God taking the bull by the horn in my opinion. SO now we had a beautiful, safe home for our family.

Life seemed pretty perfect, even though the lot in BC has not sold, we had a home to be proud of and our family was growing. That fall little Elijah was born. We felt so blessed, but still felt as though we were waiting. Waiting on God to show us why Saskatchewan? Why now? Dana had started to feel discontented with his work and couldn't shake this undeniable feeling that he was suppose to be doing something else. Finally, just after Eli turned one, I took him to Caronport to talk to Academic Adviser and to see just what it would take to go into the ministry (aka: become a pastor). That day Dana was a kid in a candy store. He walked through the halls with a big smile, reading everything in site. He sat in on a class, and leaned in and said to me I know these answers! Can I raise my hand? I know after that day, that we would find ourselves back in this small rural town in the future. Little did I know it would only be a short 5 months later. The plan was for Dana to finish his electrical (3 years) while working on his degree through Briercrest by distance education. Now I would say that when God has a plan there really is no stopping it, but I don't believe that to be true all the time. I do believe that sometimes it does come down to a choice. You see in December that year, two months after our visit to Caronport, Dana "treated" me with a weekend retreat of solitude feeling the Lord's promptings that I needed time to reflect. I know that decision wasn't easy for Dana, considering I had been begging to go to Mexico for about 6 months. But he was obedient and listened to the promptings and I went. That weekend was revolutionary for me. Extremely disappointed that I wasn't on a warm sandy beach listening to the waves lap my feet, I started reading the word and spending lots of time in prayer. That weekend God spoke to me for maybe the first time in my life. I truly felt him saying: "Trust me. I have a plan. It has been in place all along. But now it comes down to you. You need to make a choice. To you follow MY plan for you or do you try and do it on your own." What echoes in my mind even still today is that it is all about a choice. I have to choose. I went home that day not really knowing what that meant until Dana and I's conversation floated back on our visit to Caronport and the prospect of him one day going to school. The conversation kinda went like this:
Susie: "So Dana, where are you at with that whole I wanna become a pastor, quit my job and go to school thing coming along."
Dana: "I still want to do it. I think about it everyday."
Susie: "So does that mean you want to go now? Not later?"
Dana: "Honestly Suz, I have been waiting on you to be ready and on board with the idea."
Susie: "Really? Me?"
Dana: "Yes Love"
Susie: All that is echoing in my mind at this point is that it's all about a choice. "Well, let's do it then!"
Really, there was much more discussion that went into it, but after that initial two minute conversation the decision had been made.

Now we are here, the summer before studies begin. Last week we didn't know if Dana had a job at the end of school or how we were going to pay for things or .... Needless to say the last two months have been very stressful. But listen to the many blessings we have received in the last 6 weeks.

-A good friend paid for me to go on the MOPS retreat which we couldn't afford to do otherwise.
-I shot my first "professional" wedding
-I booked my first "Full Package" wedding
-We got a free shed, a free swing set/ treehouse, a free trampoline
-AND now Dana got a job right here in Caronport!

God does answer prayers. He has provided us the will and knowledge and provisions all along our journey. We have always been able to pay our bills. We have never "lived without". Of course we have made sacrifices and done without, but it has never felt like a hardship. I truly feel as though God is filling up my heart and replacing all my wants and desires with HIS wants and desires. I am finding joy in knowing that we are following God's will. And what's more that we had the faith and obedience to make the CHOICE to do so. What has Jesus been asking you to do? Is there a calling on your life that you have not yet answered or are still wrestling through? Have you thought about the idea that it does come down to you choosing Jesus? I encourage you to make the choice, choose Him. Put your trust in Him. The road may not be easy, but it is filled with heavenly riches.

"Two paths diverged in a wood and I, I took the one less travelled and that has made all the difference."
-Ralph Emerson

Listen to this song and God bless YOUR journey.