Tuesday, October 19, 2010
A Haze
Lately I feel like I have been in one of these. Life seems to be increasing speed, no matter what I do to try and slow down. I have so much on the go. Whenever I think to myself, ok I will stop this so I can focus on this, a little birdie in my head says "WAIT!". And then thoughts flood in like, "Maybe this is what I should be doing" or "You could help someone by doing this" or "Opportunities will open by continuing with this".... And then I am back at square one. Feeling overwhelmed. Life seems to be overwhelming me lately. Here is a small list of what I have been up to: started Infinity Photography (and pretty much booked every weekend until mid November), cleaning houses (for extra money too), MOPS, Social Committee Chair (averages two events a month), Caregroup, Women's Study, Couple Study, Nursery, planning showers, Herbal Magic (doesn't seem like much, but I eat when I am stressed and am stressed out alot lately. not a good combo when trying to lose weight), and just life (kids, being a good mom, being a good wife, keeping up with the household chores, being a good friend, and on and on and on). Overwhelmed. And possibly sinking. I feel like I am on the verge of tears or a breakdown all last week. And this week, just when I thought "You can handle this Susie. You got this." I get sick. Argh! I guess now I am bridging over to venting, but when do you know it's too much or when you need to push yourself? And how do you know what to let go and what you should hold on to? Questions I am struggling with lately. Feelings of being a bad mom, "I should be doing more with the kids, teaching, guiding, having fun". I should be doing more as wife, "cooking, cleaning, loving, encouraging". Is it okay to be doing these things for me when other areas seem to need more attention (the pile of laundry in my basement). How do you balance your life and make these life balancing decisions? Bless me with your insight, your thoughts. How do you do it?
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3 comments:
Hey Susie, my dear! I have been to this dark place, sister. Here's my advice.
Choose a date in the near future (as soon as you can, but only as far away as you can fathom) where you will start to slow down. Next, start paring down your schedule by prioritizing what's most important and then let people know you are unavailable. Start exiting the stage. Alternatively, just "drop out". (Scary, but feels great!)Mental health should be your top priority!! You disrespect yourself by not taking time for yourself -- it's painful to admit, but it's true. Helping is an addiction. Seriously. The surprising thing you'll find is that people are understanding.
Once you've gone on hiatus and taken some time for your self, you can re-integrate yourself into helpitude by only saying yes to things that you feel passionate about. If someone asks for something, always give yourself time to mull it over to find out if it feels right (this saves you from having to back out later, which actually feels much worse than if you had said "no" to begin with).
I've found that if you tailor your life down to only the most important: home, family, and faith, you come to recognize the richness of your life; respect for yourself and your life; and room to live passionately.
My favorite quotes from The Course in Miracles are: "The quiet way is open," and "You need do nothing." These remind me that everything is perfect in God's eyes and we are not separate from Him; all problems are already solved,and everyone has all the love, time, joy that they need. Busy-ness leads us away from God.
Susie, you are an earth angel!!
It's hard, that's for sure. I made a point to slow down and spend a little time for me this month ... and, well, you know how that's going. It's not. You definitely have way more commitments on your plate than I do and I always wondered how (and why!) you kept so busy. You do have to just cut back and limit the time you are willing to spend doing so much for others.
Tayah had many great things to say!
Good luck!
I think it is especially hard when you are part of a church, and are one of those people that likes to volunteer and be involved...to not get sucked into everything. It is also hard as you have more children, to be physically involved in everything. This is a short (in the big picture) stage of life, where your kids are demanding and dependent, and maybe they need more of your time than the church (or other commitees) do right now. Also by the sounds of it, you need more time for you!! And that shouldn't make you feel bad! Soon you'll have three in school and will have time again to be at all those things. It is hard to say NO, but it sounds like you need to. I am not involved in too much, and still am overwhelmed a lot of the time, just by the three kids. Take care.
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