I am always amazed how God answers our prayers. It seems so perfect at times, and at others it seems just in the nick of time. Dana and I did put alot on the line when we decided to move to Caronport in following God's call on our lives. Nothing grand comes without sacrafice. We all sacrafice something; whether it be time, money, friends, ect... It seems like over the last 4 years Dana and I have been "sacraficing" alot! But I look at where it has taken us, and am amazed how God knew what was best for us all along.
I grew up in a small town and loved every minute of it. I loved how friendly people were, that you could take over an hour walking to town because you were bound to run into people you knew who wanted to chat, that you could walk to the grocery store. I loved that I knew everyone in my school in all the grades, most of them by name. I loved that I married my high school sweet heart, and I love that my children walked the same streets as I did growing up. I imagined my kids going to the same school I did, having some of the same teachers, finding the same secret quiet spaces (mine was the rock that looked over the creek behind the stone church). But things change, people change and dreams change. I found that after I got married and started a family, I looked at that same lovable community differently. I didn't have many "mom" friends that I could share life with, money was always a stress living where we did, and somewhere along the line I felt like I lost "my" community. So naturally when the opportunity came up to move Saskatchewan, it intrigued me. However, I still held to my little community scared of letting it go and all that it had meant to me. Not to mention that both Dana and I's family's lived in there too and I had imagined our children growing up with Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles and Cousins as neighbors. Real 'Little House on the Prairie' kind of stuff. But on faith and hope we moved half way across Canada to the real prairie. That move changed our lives. We didn't know it then, but God was working in us and grooming us for the road that lies ahead.
Saskatchewan proved to be the most challenging, scary, loving, rewarding things we have ever done. We walked away from a brand new house, filled with all brand new things, into a two bed room apartment in a not so good area of town. Not to mention how much stuff we got rid of to fit it all in. We still held on to the possibility of our lot selling and being able to own a home, so we had rented storage for much of our bigger processions. Feeling like we were working a little backwards, and the unknown future, there were many times we doubted our decision. But something always held us here. As if God was saying, hold in tight, I have something for you, just not yet. Several months after being in this small home, my dear friend's hubby (they lived in the same building) said that he had a knife pulled on him in the parking lot so not to go out walking at night by myself like I had been. Now he was fine and made it more comical then I sure it was, but I remember being terrified and marching home immediately to tell Dana we are moving and that was it. But we couldn't afford much, our lot hadn't sold so we didn't think we could buy, but after months of looking it felt like there was no other option. So we had made an appointment with the bank to see what we could afford. Well, months prior we had applied for the Family Co-op which provided beautiful family town houses in a great area of town for subsidized rent but because we hadn't heard back we assumed there was no way we would get in. But guess who called when we were in the office with mortgage specialist? The Co-op! She told us they had a town house available in just a few weeks and they wanted to know if we wanted it. The amazing thing is that there is a wait list a mile long to get into this place, that's why we thought it was impossible. But she told us we were the last on her list, and she had called everyone else and they all told her that it was not a good time for them to move! In MAY! That is undeniably God taking the bull by the horn in my opinion. SO now we had a beautiful, safe home for our family.
Life seemed pretty perfect, even though the lot in BC has not sold, we had a home to be proud of and our family was growing. That fall little Elijah was born. We felt so blessed, but still felt as though we were waiting. Waiting on God to show us why Saskatchewan? Why now? Dana had started to feel discontented with his work and couldn't shake this undeniable feeling that he was suppose to be doing something else. Finally, just after Eli turned one, I took him to Caronport to talk to Academic Adviser and to see just what it would take to go into the ministry (aka: become a pastor). That day Dana was a kid in a candy store. He walked through the halls with a big smile, reading everything in site. He sat in on a class, and leaned in and said to me I know these answers! Can I raise my hand? I know after that day, that we would find ourselves back in this small rural town in the future. Little did I know it would only be a short 5 months later. The plan was for Dana to finish his electrical (3 years) while working on his degree through Briercrest by distance education. Now I would say that when God has a plan there really is no stopping it, but I don't believe that to be true all the time. I do believe that sometimes it does come down to a choice. You see in December that year, two months after our visit to Caronport, Dana "treated" me with a weekend retreat of solitude feeling the Lord's promptings that I needed time to reflect. I know that decision wasn't easy for Dana, considering I had been begging to go to Mexico for about 6 months. But he was obedient and listened to the promptings and I went. That weekend was revolutionary for me. Extremely disappointed that I wasn't on a warm sandy beach listening to the waves lap my feet, I started reading the word and spending lots of time in prayer. That weekend God spoke to me for maybe the first time in my life. I truly felt him saying: "Trust me. I have a plan. It has been in place all along. But now it comes down to you. You need to make a choice. To you follow MY plan for you or do you try and do it on your own." What echoes in my mind even still today is that it is all about a choice. I have to choose. I went home that day not really knowing what that meant until Dana and I's conversation floated back on our visit to Caronport and the prospect of him one day going to school. The conversation kinda went like this:
Susie: "So Dana, where are you at with that whole I wanna become a pastor, quit my job and go to school thing coming along."
Dana: "I still want to do it. I think about it everyday."
Susie: "So does that mean you want to go now? Not later?"
Dana: "Honestly Suz, I have been waiting on you to be ready and on board with the idea."
Susie: "Really? Me?"
Dana: "Yes Love"
Susie: All that is echoing in my mind at this point is that it's all about a choice. "Well, let's do it then!"
Really, there was much more discussion that went into it, but after that initial two minute conversation the decision had been made.
Now we are here, the summer before studies begin. Last week we didn't know if Dana had a job at the end of school or how we were going to pay for things or .... Needless to say the last two months have been very stressful. But listen to the many blessings we have received in the last 6 weeks.
-A good friend paid for me to go on the MOPS retreat which we couldn't afford to do otherwise.
-I shot my first "professional" wedding
-I booked my first "Full Package" wedding
-We got a free shed, a free swing set/ treehouse, a free trampoline
-AND now Dana got a job right here in Caronport!
God does answer prayers. He has provided us the will and knowledge and provisions all along our journey. We have always been able to pay our bills. We have never "lived without". Of course we have made sacrifices and done without, but it has never felt like a hardship. I truly feel as though God is filling up my heart and replacing all my wants and desires with HIS wants and desires. I am finding joy in knowing that we are following God's will. And what's more that we had the faith and obedience to make the CHOICE to do so. What has Jesus been asking you to do? Is there a calling on your life that you have not yet answered or are still wrestling through? Have you thought about the idea that it does come down to you choosing Jesus? I encourage you to make the choice, choose Him. Put your trust in Him. The road may not be easy, but it is filled with heavenly riches.
"Two paths diverged in a wood and I, I took the one less travelled and that has made all the difference."
-Ralph Emerson
Listen to this song and God bless YOUR journey.
