Please Untie the Knots

I am in Summerland right now with my family as we prepare for Calvin's funeral. This has been a bittersweet time. Obviously I wish my visit was under different circumstances, but it still is nice to see my family- especially my new neice Georgia. She is perfect in everyway.

However, this experience of coming back and grieving with my family has been very hard. I don't think my stomach has untied since arriving and my eyes are red from crying so much. I am thankful for the family and friends who has been so supportive, but there has still been some unneccessary stress since arriving. Making this experience even more difficult than it has to be.

I really just wish that this feeling in my stomach would go away and that I would feel at least calm. Maybe not happy right now, but calm.

I miss Dana so much and really wish he was here. He truly seems to be the one person who knows just what to say to bring me back down. I try and imagine his hand on my chest, hugging me, but he seems so far away. I can't wait to return home.

Please continue praying for my family, especially Shane and Margaret. As we near Calvin's funeral I am sure things will be especially hard. Nothing can describe this pain, and I am not the parent of this lost child. I cannot imagine how they must be feeling. Thank you for you prayers and support, you know who you are, and God bless.

In loving memory of Calvin Mayer

Little Miracles...

This week I am reminded that our lives our filled with little miracles. My little nephew, Calvin, reminds me of this through his strength and endurance. He had a 12 hour surgery, survived, and has a much better prognoses than expected. He is on life support right now; however, he is on the road to recovery. Every day he fights back and lives is a little God given miracle. We are so thankful. Because we can't be with my new little nephew and niece, we are looking at our kids and trying to love on them extra this week. Celebrating the miracles they are in our lives.

Ava's new scary eyes look. Kynan use to do this a ton when he was little and it was so funny when Ava pulled this one out of her pocket.

Ava sure loves her strawberries, and yes she put them on her finger tips. So cute!

Kynan took this picture of Dana. Is my husband weird or what?!!?

My new hair style! I have never been one for bangs, but I took the leap and I love it!

Other than the obvious pending unknown with little Calvin, we are doing fine. Today we are hoping to have a fun family day with the kidlets and just enjoy being together.

We hope you take time to enjoy the little miracles in your life. Have a happy weekend!

I'm an Auntie.... Again!

A few days ago my brother's wife, Margaret, gave birth to two beautiful twins (at least I think they are beautiful- I actually haven't seen them). The girl was 7 lbs. 10 oz. and is named Georgia Lee Mayer. The boy was 6 lbs. 13 oz. and is named Calvin Zachary. I am so proud of my sister-in-law. She apparently did very well and and is in recovery. Georgia is doing well too, and trying to nurse. Calvin, is the one with the heart defect. He is doing better than expected, but still will be going into heart surgery tomorrow. They need to fix a hole and a flap. He is getting the best care he can and I am confident he will pull through. But, if all you praying types out there wouldn't mind sending a message to the big man upstairs on Calvin's behalf we would be so grateful.

Shane and Margaret, I wish I could be there to love on you and all three of your babies. Please know I am thinking about you all the time and you have been in my prayers constantly. I can't wait to see you again, whenever that will be.

xoxoxoxox

If I could get all whimsy on all of you for a second and ask, what if we could go back? Or know what was in our futures after making a choice? Or what if we could take away road blocks or setbacks in our lives? Would our lives be easier? Would be better off?

Dana and I have made many life changing decisions this year, and one MAJOR one in the last few months. While we remain ecstatic and faithful of our decision to move back to the prairies, we wonder if only we could go back and redo some other decisions. Like buying our lot. Which, with the fall of the economy, we are unable to sell and paying big time for. My inlaws are in a similar situation and I was talking to my mother-in-law about it on the phone. Our feelings. We chuckled and said if only we could go back moments before making that decision. I try to remain calm, patient, and most important to us... faithful in all of this, but the truth is I am scared. Scared the lot won't sell. Scared that if it does sell, it will still cost us a pretty penny. Scared of what that might mean for us. I know my mother-in-law expressed her own concern, mostly remorse. However, having said this, these are all very common, very justified, and human emotions. But our goal is not to stop there, but to reach beyond. Our goal as Christians is to become more like Christ, right? Well, what is Christ? Humble, check. Patient, check. Faithful, check. And so much more.... I love the example that God is the potter and we are the clay. As we go through struggle and hardship in our lives, he adds curves, shape and ultimately a unique character. It is our choice to build ourselves up and fill ourselves with neccessary tools to survive these struggles. For me, right now, I need patience (for sure!), contentness, courage and faithfilness. Without these characteristics I would surely crumble under the pressure. If we can withstand the pressure that his thumb brings then once he is finished we can become a beautiful masterpiece. I don't know about you, but I want to become that masterpiece! I just need to pray a little harder for patience and faithfulness and focus more on others than on myself.

PS: If you know of anyone interested in buying land (or a very cute house for that matter) in Summerland, let me know. I will hook you up!

Have a great weekend!

Finally...

I'm sorry I took so long uploading some pictures for you. But finally we have some so let's go over the update. Above is Ava modeling her new jewelery from Baba. Thanks Baba! Ava especially loves the earrings.

Before we went in for Thanksgiving feast, the streets was clear and it was a warm fall evening. Then, at about 10pm, we walked to this! Crazy!

The next day we decided to take advantage before all the snow melted. We had fun with the kids and found out that Ava loves the snow.

Below the kids are warming up in the tub. My mom has dozen of these kind of pictures of us when we were little so I am always trying to snap some good tub pictures.

The picture above is actually taken by Kynan. He is loving playing with our little camera and there are usually over two dozen pictures of his when we upload. I love it though. Kynan really captured a moment.

One evening, Ava surprised us when we couldn't find her and finally heard her slurping away in the shoe closet. This girl REALLY loves shoes.

Happy Halloween! I want to suck your blood! Kynan went as spooky dracula. And Ava went as a warm, cuddly lion. Early that day she went as a pretty princess. She got more into the lion character with her pretty princess but both times she was simply adorable. It was a beautiful night and we had a blast.

thanks for you patience. hopefully next time you won't have to wait so long!

Have you met my friend .... Ralph?!?!?!?

My mom will hate that I used this as my title being that my late Grandpa's name is Ralph, but it just seemed to fit what our family has been feeling lately.

All day yesterday I felt nauseous and achy, but we wanted to have a fun filled day with the kids. So we ventured to Walmart and let them fill up an Operation Christmas Child box. We did one boy and one girl. Dana was extra generous, which was odd to me as he usually has very tight strings to his wallet. We did a Cars theme to the boys box of course, filling it with matchbox cars, a monster truck, a colouring book, crayons, facecloth, soap, toothbrush, comb, and even shorts and Tshirt. The girls one was filled with a barbie, carebear, an outfit, hair elastics, and the same as the boys essentials. Then we went to Chillies for lunch (our new favorite resturant). Dana had a full slab of ribs, and I had a caesar salad. I think I ate half before I ran to the bathroom. Dana smiled at me and said "Thanks for toughing it out, but let's go home and get you better." So we went home and I crashed for 4 hours, getting up randomly to go.... well... ralph. Last night was the toughest though. I was up sick, then Kynan started.... I am so thankful that Ava and Dana seem to be bypassing this bug.

Today, my stomach is still doing flips and flops and I am lying comatose on the couch while Dana is out with the kids. I am so thankful for Dana. He has been so loving. Making me tea, soup, rubbing my feet, my back, drawing me baths, and the biggest favor of all... looking after the children. Kynan shows no sign of sickness today which gives me hope that soon I may be on the mend.

So until later....